Stupid Shit, Vol. 256

The white trash train just keeps rolling through the Mat-Su Valley. It's like a bad romance novel/Lifetime Movie Network afternoon special feature.

I've Watched You Change

You motherfuckers have been out of the loop. Here's some photos to bring everyone up to speed.

Spagett!!!

Rosa running around in the backyard.

I split the fuck out of all of this.

Pretty boss fire I've got here.

Fireweed

Random weeds/clover

Fucking clouds. How do they work?

Trying to get a job is a gigantic pain in the ass.

Beyond the Rubicon

Literary genius right here.

It was Father's Day today. If you don't know, it's fucking hard to have kids, if you do it right. Sure, you could be one of those permissive shithead parents who let their kids do what the fuck ever and then you have to pay for all those goddamn Adderall scripts and make excuses for why your kid is a fucktard, but real motherfuckers know that you have to be a total hardass all the time for you kids to turn out right.

I've been working outside on the yard lately and have been totally exhausted after I'm done. I can't imagine how my old man worked 10 or 12 plus hour days at some goddamn hard physical labor and still came home and was a father and how he did this for his entire life. He knew what the fuck it took to raise kids correctly and he knew he had to work his ass off to make sure those goddamn kids got fed and he still did it.

Motherfucker was hard. I have to give big respect to the old bastard because he raised his family in terrible conditions, work and otherwise, and did what he had to do. Shit, I wish he was still around to help me with this shit.

Miss you, Pop.

My Life is Pretty Plain

All I can do is read a book to stay awake.

We're doing the book club live and we're fucking it. There's no words there. All internet fuckery aside, we are going to have a book club and we are mailing the invites to the locals and we will have booze because we want to have our friends/loved ones to be liquored up and arguing the merits of their favorite pieces of prose. It will be fun. It will also be totally white so dress accordingly (i.e. no FUBU).

Just kidding, I'll be totally FUBU'ed out. I got to bring that diversity to all these crackers.

Thinking of You

Rosa Lucky Parks Toche

Yeah, I just dropped a bunch of bones on a Pembroke Corgi and Felicia named her after civil rights activist Rosa Parks.

I'm also drinking vodka-sodas and watching the second installment of the Godfather.

Eat a dick, mortality.

We'll Work It All Out Together

My old man and my diploma

I even earned a silver and a gold sticker for mine.

I don't know how the fuck my old man would have reacted to my college education, but I know he was proud of my brother. I guess all those lectures about how shitty it is being a poor laborer and all those ass-beatings when I was a fuck head paid off.

I miss that son of a bitch.

I Want a Perfect Soul

My boys and their Uncle Joe

I've been off the radar for a while and it has been good but I think I'll start the post a day thing and try to keep it up even if I do get that J-O-B. Sometimes I just can't wrap my head around things and stupid shit seems to bother me more than it should. Just yesterday I was shopping for Gavin's new school clothes in the little boy section and not the baby/toddler section and I realized "this is how it happens that you end up all old and shit". Then today Gavin is telling me all about his imaginary friend Meesee who wasn't paying attention when he went shooting and pointed the weapon at his stomach and pulled the trigger so now Meesee is dead and he needs to find a new Meesee.

I fear for the children who have to face the next huge evolutionary bottle-neck event.

We Were Looking for Ourselves

I will not tolerate you.

I've got a metric fuckton of photos to resize so blogger will upload them and then all the fun times I will recount of my 30 day adventure with a dog, two children, wife, relatives and friends on a wacky quest to buy a Pembroke Corgi and drive it 2600 miles to it's new home. I hear Michael Bay wants to buy it so he can turn it into next summer's blockbuster 'splosion-filled turd of a movie. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, read this. It's a friend of mine from the Marine Corps who has a blog now and it is filled with wine and kitty goodness.

If There's Something I Need

The inside of an operant chamber

I've been busy as all fuck with the graduation, and parties, and finishing research presentations, and all that other shit. Now, I'm going on a road trip to the Lower 48. It might be cool to do some blogging of that but I don't know how good the wifi is going to be, so we'll see about it.

Back to the Frontlines

An ignominious end to a valuable contributor to science.

DJ KDog ripping up some tracks for all y'all.

What marriage is really like.

All that is good and right in the world.

The first of many casts, I'm sure.

As a teaching assistant, I don't have time for your excuses.

If you've never done science, I encourage you to get your hands wet and discover that all we know and can hope to ever discover is predicated on a lot of uncertainty. This is a good thing. Certainties always breed bad shit, so it's good that the way forward is murky.

Anyway, I found Violet dead in her box today. This is kind of fucked up because Felicia and I just had a conversation about our own projected life times. I thought that I would die young, or failing that, die super old. Either I'm out by 60 or I'm in until 90. It's good to talk with your significant other about when you think you'll die and how the fuck shit is going to go down and how you are truly alone in the universe and how even if you find someone who can deal with your shit and put up with all your hangups until the bitterest of ends you still have to go through that shit yourself and you don't know what's going to come out the other end.

It makes you appreciate shit and not hope for some utopia that's never going to fucking get here.

Go read Proverbs 22:6. This is the thing that all parents should believe and apply.

There It Is

Am I the only one who doesn't give a shit about the special election that is sure to be the end of Obama's presidency? Anyway, here's some haiku:

Magpie in the spruce
Crisp mountain in the distance
Conscious and breathing

Chaotic tree form
Linear architecture
Snow covering both

Outside my window
Mind creates differing names
all forms are empty

I don't know if these are good, and frankly, I don't give a fuck if they aren't. They just came to me this afternoon, so suck it.

From the Archives

Here are a bunch of pictures that I saved for some reason. Some of them I intended to make a post on at some future time, and others I just thought funny, and others still I used for school. Anyway, I thought it was a neat experiment to see the collection of detritus my internet skein had gathered from the webs.

If you don't know who these two guys are, you don't know comedic genius.

Also, Early Cuyler, a two foot tall, illiterate squid from the North Georgia mountains. If you want to freak people out, work Early into a Power-point presentation you are giving. The audience will be stupefied.

Always helpful to know where those active boundaries are.

I don't remember why I saved this, other than I, like all other white male nerds, have an irrational appreciation of MST3K.

Mr. M-E-F. Also, a good candidate for shocking/confusing the audience of a Power-point about male body image perceptions.

Magnolia blossom.

Some handy trigonometric derivatives

The Hammer

Click on both of these and pay attention to the arrows. I think transsexual pornography could be the answer that statesmen need to heal the wounds in the Middle East.

The Rape, by Magritte. I saved this for an art presentation.

I just rebought Starcraft this weekend. This was one of the first computer games I bought almost 10 years ago, and it still has great re-play value. It really makes you think about a combined arms approach to combat, instead of just "build a bunch of cheap units and melee the shit out of your enemy" approach.

This is an image I made in Paint for use in a computer programming class I took.

I laugh my ass off every time I see this.

Apathy by an artist who's name I didn't save. It's pretty good.

Clearly, sexism is a thing of the past, so we don't need to discuss it.

A nice shout out to the Dune universe

This was an ad from somewhere and I thought it was so great, especially the line, "Whenever or wherever." because you can really get away with fucking a fleshlight on the bus.

American Apparel can go get fucked.

These are just a few of the images I have, but I like how disturbing some of them are, or can be depending upon the context of the situation. The sitemeter data was especially revealing because those aren't the only two hits looking for tranny sex. I get hits from all over looking for a defunct video link I posted a long time ago that was a parody of tranny prison sex. I'm serious. You think people are just depraved in the U.S. but the truth is, people the world over have some strange sexual proclivities/curiosities. Seriously, when you think about it, it is almost a surety that somewhere on the globe, right now, some guy is blowing his load in a farm animal, or some woman is having hot wax dribbled on her genitalia, while some guy in a mask slaps her in the face and she's loving every minute of it.

Also, it was kind of weird to see what I had that didn't make the cut. For example, I have a collection of images mocking Sarah Palin and a bunch of underwater nude photos of women.

Bored II

His specifically requested blue and red striped cast.

The next Randian Superman, I'm sure.

There's nothing I could say here that would illuminate what exactly I am thinking, without sounding like too much of a dick, so I'll save the commentary for another day.

I Might Fade Like a Sigh

The incense is me and I am it.

Stretching and doing some light reading.

Helping.

Anxious.

Disappointed.

Despondent.

Happy.

Vietnamese furniture can't step to this.

Future gamer, I'm sure.

Serious.

It's okay to drink wine out the box if you recycle that shit.

The semester will start soon, so I'll probably post this less frequently than I have. I know I wanted to do post a day, but I got sidetracked with the whole arm breaking, lack of happenings, general apathy that accompanies the holidays. I will be less busy, however, so I will hypothetically have more time for this, allowing for outrage to consume me and I have to do stuff here.

Oh well.