Word up.
You know that feeling you get when you are just enough flown to see all the beauty and none of the shittiness and to feel all of the goodness and none of the rage? I had it a minute ago and lost it.
The funny/tragic thing about that state is it is one of the reasons I continue to drink. I want to cut past all the misanthropism to feel a little connection with my fellow man, before I descend into the blackness where I condemn them all to the pit for their sins, and mine too. I guess I'm always chasing that feeling, of togetherness in the goodness, instead of togetherness in the terribleness. Sometimes, I can begin to feel that I am rising above the animal nature that consumes us, but just sometimes.
I saw a guy in the gym the other night who I had tutored in the math lab. He told me that he got an A on his test that he had taken. I felt pretty accomplished, like I may have helped him get that grade and that maybe I wasn't so horrible and useless.
I was walking out of the store the other day and this homeless guy asks me, "Excuse me sir, can you spare a quarter?" I ignored him, but I felt like telling the guy that no one is going to give him a set amount of money like 25 cents, and that it would be better to ask for 23 cents because people are more likely to give weird amounts of change that are specific instead of amounts like a quarter. I'm not really sure why, but I feel that I have seen some research that came to that conclusion, so suck it!
Well, there you go, a walk on part in the war.
The funny/tragic thing about that state is it is one of the reasons I continue to drink. I want to cut past all the misanthropism to feel a little connection with my fellow man, before I descend into the blackness where I condemn them all to the pit for their sins, and mine too. I guess I'm always chasing that feeling, of togetherness in the goodness, instead of togetherness in the terribleness. Sometimes, I can begin to feel that I am rising above the animal nature that consumes us, but just sometimes.
I saw a guy in the gym the other night who I had tutored in the math lab. He told me that he got an A on his test that he had taken. I felt pretty accomplished, like I may have helped him get that grade and that maybe I wasn't so horrible and useless.
I was walking out of the store the other day and this homeless guy asks me, "Excuse me sir, can you spare a quarter?" I ignored him, but I felt like telling the guy that no one is going to give him a set amount of money like 25 cents, and that it would be better to ask for 23 cents because people are more likely to give weird amounts of change that are specific instead of amounts like a quarter. I'm not really sure why, but I feel that I have seen some research that came to that conclusion, so suck it!
Well, there you go, a walk on part in the war.
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