I've been thinking a lot about my parents lately. They both died this time of year and even now, five and six years on, it gets me thinking about them.
I'd love to say that they were great, un-imaginable heroes, who always did the proper thing, and always knew the right course, and were two people who were totally infallible.
They were not.
I loved them, still love them, with a crazed vehemence. Love, however, has nothing to do with the fact that they were human, that they did fuck up, that they (especially my mother) were horrifically wrong about loads of things that they'd never understand, and that their worldview was one of the simple, trivial people who trust in god.
I've always kind of thought that god was a joke. If he existed at all, he either wasn't minding the laboratory, or he's a totally sadistic motherfucker. In either case, I'll choose to believe in a universe that doesn't care one way or the other as to whether I survive and not pin my hopes to a god who is diagnosable as ADHD or Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Look, I hate my life. I will probably kill myself. I just want my goddamn kids to be critical thinkers, and, at the very most, be a little bit happy with their lives.
I'd love to say that they were great, un-imaginable heroes, who always did the proper thing, and always knew the right course, and were two people who were totally infallible.
They were not.
I loved them, still love them, with a crazed vehemence. Love, however, has nothing to do with the fact that they were human, that they did fuck up, that they (especially my mother) were horrifically wrong about loads of things that they'd never understand, and that their worldview was one of the simple, trivial people who trust in god.
I've always kind of thought that god was a joke. If he existed at all, he either wasn't minding the laboratory, or he's a totally sadistic motherfucker. In either case, I'll choose to believe in a universe that doesn't care one way or the other as to whether I survive and not pin my hopes to a god who is diagnosable as ADHD or Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Look, I hate my life. I will probably kill myself. I just want my goddamn kids to be critical thinkers, and, at the very most, be a little bit happy with their lives.
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