Same Old Shit, Dog

Harry Potter-a-thon.

Wearing a boonie hat and enjoying an after cleaning drink.

Resolutions, shmesolutions, I'm too set in my ways to change anything so let's just take a shit on our children's generation.

Check out this dumb shit from MSN. It's terrible. On second thought don't read that, because it's just an exercise in the confirmation bias of millions of stupid assholes. I hope they all get cancer and die in the most horrible of ways, whilst their children and parents spit in their faces and tell them that they totally sucked on all levels.

I really have no tolerance for these worthless shit stains.

LiLo and NiRi

Because these two cunts only deserve a total of 1 day and 82 minutes in jail.

USA Today has, on this glorious Friday morning, attempted to kill me by running these two stories simultaneously in its online front page. The first is an account of Lindsay Lohan's deal to only spend 1 day in jail after her DUI and coke possession. The second is the story of Nicole Richie only spending 82 minutes in a correctional facility for her DUI conviction.

I really like reading stories about shit like this. I remember watching 4 cops beat the shit out of a man who was doing pretty much the same thing as these 2 dumb bitches. For some reason, though, maybe because they are famous or rich or in the public eye or celebrities, I was deprived the pleasure of seeing a group of men taser Nicole Richie on the side of a California freeway. Why? Where is the footage of Lindsay being cracked in the head with batons? Is there no justice in the world? Also, I find the Deputy DA's claim that Lindsay Lohan got "what everyone else would get" total bullshit. I am pretty sure that if I went to California and went on a drunken, cocaine-fueled joy ride that culminated in my arrest I'm pretty sure I wouldn't only get 1 day in jail and 10 days community service.

Fuck these whores and fuck all the people who made them famous. I also realize that I am helping to keep them famous by talking about them so don't bother pointing it out. As Michael Corleone says, "We're both part of the same hypocrisy." Man that movie kicks ass.

June 22

That's right, it's Pi Approximation Day. Aside from that I have been busying myself with The Onion's A.V. Club, which is a great site for anyone who has utter contempt for pop-culture. The interviews and entertainment reviews are pretty good but my favorites are The A.V. Club blog, The Hater and The Tolerability Index. Spoiler Alert: If you like reality T.V. or are a fan of the new Transformers movie or Avril Lavigne, the wonderful writers at The A.V. Club will hate on these things with extreme prejudice. I love it because not only do the critics review the movies, songs and shows but there is a comment section in which users can hate on the drivel that is constantly being produced by Hollywood. I feel great when I read things like that because I don't feel so alone in my hatred. One of my absolute favorites is when a user who used to work at Blockbuster relates one of his favorite overheard customer comments, "IT must be good, look how many copies they got." Classic.