'Bout to Get Some 40s and Pack This Shit Up

Shut the fuck up and enjoy the continuation of the story arc. Seriously, though, I don't know if anyone is reading this, and I kind of don't care. I'm putting it on the internet for posterity, goddammit. 

Also, I added ads so that maybe all those bots will outclick through them and send me several dollars a month. Got to get paid, son. 

Edit: Also, huge bonertime alert, I forgot one of the pages that should have been uploaded this morning. I've fixed it here.

Ratko Mladic IS Probably a Likable Enough Guy

Here's some panels about an infamous person. Apparently, it's wrong to line up people and shoot them so that they fall into mass, unmarked graves, but totally acceptable to cause the death/dismemberment of a similar amount of people in order to free them from tyranny. 

There's a Henry Rollins book where he describes L.A. as the land of 1000 rapes and I'm pretty sure that's accurate, but I also think that it can be scaled up to the globe. We're an awful species, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Don't Ever Pray for Patience

Here is the continuation of the comics that I started oh so long ago here. I have enjoyed doing this comic and maybe having people other than Slovenian botnets look at it. Maybe you've had a chuckle, or identified with it, or hate it but can't stop following those goddamn facebook links that I put up all the goddamn time, or just feel sorry for some guy who ain't ever gonna get his 'cause the Lord God has got a wicked sense of humor and just can't let a motherfucker live already. I'm just kidding. The Lord is pretty funny sometimes. Real ironic, if you're into that sort of thing.
 

Personal Shit About Which No One Could Give a Fuck

I like to imagine that one day, this image will be reviled and revered as a silent moment where the brutal dictator that ordered mass executions was caught, unawares and all too human.

Holy Goddamn, my boy is six.

Still lets me put pitchers uh her on da internets.

It's a derpy derp world.

I've been a little vague on the personal front lately with all the goddamn comics (more of which are to come and to bore you with facebook linkage) but shit has been busy. Like a motherfucker. Did I tell all y'all that I got into the MFA for creative writing program and now I have to do things like think critically about literature and read things and write things that people will critique and that I'll cry about? Cause all that shit happened. 

Insane. Writers. People who write down words, sentences, lies upon lies upon falsehoods that build up into novels and then we all buy it and hate it because it cuts too close to home. How do you know a book is good? No one has an answer to that, because none of them are. If people were a little more self aware and reflective upon their shitty condition, the world wouldn't see a need for novelists. If we could look shit in the face and tell it we love it because it is us, there'd be no space for 'em.

Lately I've taken to a more Southern bent to my speaking. Hell if I know about any a that mess.

God as a Bro as a Champ

I like to imagine the Almighty as a solid bro, prankster, all around good ole boy. It just seems to make more sense when you look at the cosmos.

Anyway, I've started re-reading the Bible and will probably do more of these type comics, with God laughing at us in our hopeless endeavor. I imagine he got a heavens shaking laugh out of this most recent apocalyptic prophesy. So, here's the panels. Enjoy. 

Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer Is Cheap and Works the Same as Any Other

I changed the layout a little and hope you all like it. I thought it was easier to read and all that. Prolly change it soon. Here's a comic! The arc starts here and continues through the blogzorz.

Also, have I said that my wife is dope? She is. Totally.

Osama bin Laden and the Humanization of The Other

Here are some images of Osama bin Laden with funny captions added. I like to think about him in a real way, not with a Boogieman aura, but as a live human being. Kind of like the way Kurtz in Apocalypse Now reflects on the humanity of the soldiers who hacked off the inoculated arms of the village children. I mean, he did all the things we do: shit, pissed, fucked, jizzed, coughed, sneezed, laughed at some unexpected irony, loved his wives, likely saw beauty in a certain sun cresting a mountain range, savored the defeat of his enemies, and experienced the terror of his own mortality late nights when he couldn't sleep. 

He was real and I think we do a disservice to all of us when we demonize him as "evil" or some childish notion like that.

Ben and George Discuss a Galtian Exodus

I have been enjoying Curtis White's The Middle Mind lately. It reminds me how, in one of my undergrad courses, I wanted to do some research on stupidity, or how people could be so willfully ignorant, contradictory, and self-defeating. I tried to find some previous research that studied this phenomenon but there wasn't any, not even in politically correct constructs. I asked my professor and he too, couldn't find anything remotely similar. It was strange to me that this fundamental aspect of human nature had no empirical studies measuring it. So, I was forced to pick a different area to study for lack of previous literature on which to base my study of stupidity. I should probably go back to that, maybe. 

After all, it's not like the world lacks for fools.

High Art, Literature, AND Journalism Being Killed As I Post This

So here's the updatage. The story arc starts hereish. If you want, you can click those buttons over there to share with folks and I'll feel really good about myself for once. Or not. I ain't forcing you to do shit. 

Also, this one has crudely drawn boobs in it. SCORE! 

Also also, am I a little weirded out by the ability to post my location on this now? Yeah, pretty much, but it's not going to stop me doing it.

Mother's Day

Mom, circa Old School Shit.

The worst thing about having your parents die before you're old is that you can't draw from the well of terrible shit that they've had to go through. You can't ask them, "So, what'd you do when you were both outta work and past due on all your bills with three kids to take care of?". You know they got through the shit ('cause you're here to dwell on it), but you don't know how, like they're some mysterious hero that makes the legend and destroys the impossible enemy but doesn't tell you shit. Mysteries.

I don't know about you all, but it just adds to the influence anxiety I have about parenting. Maybe call that parent anxiety (but not in some stupid Hollywood sense that all men are scared of being dads and all women have to raise all children, everywhere, ever). I could never be the titan of morality and sterness that my mother was for me. I can't quote the appropriate Bible verse. I can't instill in my children the fear of the Lord. I can't be the pillar of righteousness that Mom was, guiding her errant children to the shores of well being. I am a complete and utter failure at life, not like her, who took the hard road, sacrificed, put shit on lay a way, washed clothes in the bathtub and hung them out to dry, scrubbed cloth diapers clean of my filth, ensured I was well fed and cleaned, and raised children in the insane cauldron of southern Mississippi.  

I am a stupid child, bereft of understanding, completely ignorant of how I should be, unknowing and yet cognizant of my stupidity.

Proverbs says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

I love you mom. 

Jefferson's Dilemma

I have seen a lot of noise around the internet in the wake of bin Laden's killing. Apparently, people either are: hooting and hollering about justice and waving American flags and shooting shotguns into the air from the backs of pick up trucks on the way to the store for more Natural Ice, OR, holding forth about how a human being, no matter how shitty, is still human and we shouldn't celebrate their non-existence no matter what and how they are just going to stop by Whole Foods for a minute to stock up on vegan organic pesto.

I haven't seen anyone say that the only reason anyone in America is celebrating is that some apes that belonged to "our" group killed an ape that belonged to "another" group. This is a pretty crucial omission.

TJ and George Discuss A Thorny Social Issue

UBL Killed Like a Bitch in Pakistan

Here's the next installment of our post-singularity hero. I like updating on Sunday, but feel that I should do it more often, but I got other shit. A whole lotta other shit. I got mad comics, historical shit, short stories, scribbles, ideas, all sorts of crazy shit. I don't know why, but the tumor in my brain is forcing out all kinds of creative shit, like some kind of production anus, squeezing out mind turds for all the creepy, watching fecalphiliacs out there. Here it is. Un-washed and writhing nude on the floor of the universe, drunkenly swaying through parties that end in uncontrollable sobs, windows down screaming at pedestrians on the way to some coked out endeavor in a seedy club with many, many men. It's crazy the word salad shit that comes out of my fingers sometimes.

CRAZY. 


Also, Osama bin Laden was fucking killed and his body spirited away to locations unknown by a team of hard core, maniacal killers today.

Ben and George Have a Conversation About THE DEBT

 

I just had the conversation with Felicia that if it were possible to bring the founding fathers to the present day and show them the state of their creation, they would slap our collective shit right in the mouth, open palm and everything. She agreed.

Birth Certificate Shenanigans

I'm pretty sure President Washington would approve of my using of his likeness in order to poke fun at today's stupid, stupid political news.