Reasons to Hate People

You know, with all those guns attending medical school and all that.

This one takes a little more 'splainin'.

Go check out this link and then see if you don't agree with me about this cock-loving douche pictured above. You can read this stupid motherfucker's justifications for why he told a breast-feeding mother to fuck off and leave, but why waste your time. Point is, he told this woman to put away her tit because some of the staff (i.e., him) was uncomfortable with seeing boobs.

Tits = tits, and context is fucking irrelevant. Therefore, lack of desire to see tits, even if they're all fucked up and misshapen, means a motherfucker has an attraction to cock, plain and simple.

The point is, this old fucking asshole runs a business called H2O Oasis in Anchorage and you should never go there because you're paying some titty-hating motherfucker money so that you can swim around in tepid pool water filled with bodily fluids.

Fuck, I love boobs.

Eco-Bullshit

Just to show that I'm not all doom and gloom and rage, check out this link. I think it's pretty cool that, as bad as we are, we can sometimes manage to not fuck up, and even repair some of the terrible things we've done as a species.

Palin, Eat a Fat One

So, you've already heard the news but I just wanted to say that I am glad this fucking waste of flesh is soon to be no longer in charge of the state. I fucking loathe Palin, so I hope she fucking chokes.

Also, during the 4th of July parade yesterday, a bunch of fucking assholes kept saying, "Enjoy your freedom." like a bunch of smug fucking shitheads. You know what motherfucker? I don't need some fucking idiot to remind me to enjoy freedom. I enjoy my freedom every time I give some anti-gay protesters the finger. I enjoy my freedom every time I tell the internet that a public official can go suck a box of dicks. I enjoy my freedom every time I watch video of a woman sucking off a horse. I enjoy my freedom every time I drop a fuck load of f-bombs in the produce section. So all you stupid motherfuckers who feel the need to remind people to enjoy freedom can go get bent, because we're probably already enjoying the fuck out of it already, without your smug fucking comment, douche.

God bless the fuck out of America.

M-E-T-H-O-D Man!

Summer fun.

Here we are at Finger Lake. The boys are about to get their sea legs.

At the 4th of July Parade in the grand metropolis of downtown Wasilla, jumping off point for national superstar, Sarah Palin.

Sure, she looks innocent enough, but this is her trollface.

Some fundie christians with some anti-gay sex signs on the 4th.

Also, some crazy libertarians at the 4th parade.

The official Wasilla tea-bagging party.

My trollface.

Goddamn, this kid looks so cool.

Rustic as fuck.

Gavin, Jessica, and Dominic holding hands and walking up a trail.

So today was the anniversary of the nation's birth, and all the crazies came out. Naturally we took the opportunity to troll the shit out of everyone who really thought that their stupid signs would sway anyone's opinion about anything. The crazy libertarians from the parade came up and asked us to take their literature and I said, "Get that shit away from us." while Felicia said, "Umm, Nooo!" so the libertarian woman said, "Okay, that's your right!" while the bitch was walking on a government funded street. Then, as a family, we drove by the fundie christians, honk, and then give them the finger while I laugh my ass off. Then, the teabag party. We drove by several times to take pictures and then yell, "Go Galt!" and "Ron Paul!".

I regret that I didn't organize a better troll of the stupid ass tea baggers. I am ashamed that I did not walk around the teabag party with my Obama shirt, posters deliniating how much Alaska pays in taxes with respect to how much federal aid the state receives, and just how dumb the "conservatives" are.

Anyway, the summer up here has been magnificent and we have been loving it.

Also, suck a fat dick King George!

It Starts Eyes Closed, Fingers Crossed

Flowers fucking rule.

Some views of the mountains up Archangel Trail.

A view of the valley below.

I'm goddamn proud of this kid.

Check this out. I've been silent about a bunch of shit, but fuck it, I'm just enough drunk to blog. The above pictures were taken of the oh so short summer here in Alaska. This one has been pretty sweet: High temperatures, clear skies, no hassle, etc. It is reminiscent of the first time I visited Alaska and decided, "Fuck, this place ain't so bad." Anyway, there are flowers and then the hiking trip.

We went up to Hatcher's Pass in the Mat-Su valley and hiked up this trail that I can't remember the real name but it was Archangel Pass or some shit, it was cool. We had this great idea to take the stroller for the kids but about a half mile up the trail the terrain is so fucked up we have to ditch the stroller so the kids have to walk/we carry them.Gavin, however, is up to the fucking challenge. He hikes way the fuck up this trail, up to this goddamn hill that is giving Felicia and I problems, and when we ask him if he wants to turn back, he answers, "No. I want to go up there."

Finally, we decide to turn back because he won't admit it, but the kid looks fatigued. Anyway, I forgot what the fuck I was going to say, but hey, I love my first born, especially since he's adopted a "can do" attitude. Fuck.

I only have children in order to ensure the survival of my DNA.