UBL Killed Like a Bitch in Pakistan

Here's the next installment of our post-singularity hero. I like updating on Sunday, but feel that I should do it more often, but I got other shit. A whole lotta other shit. I got mad comics, historical shit, short stories, scribbles, ideas, all sorts of crazy shit. I don't know why, but the tumor in my brain is forcing out all kinds of creative shit, like some kind of production anus, squeezing out mind turds for all the creepy, watching fecalphiliacs out there. Here it is. Un-washed and writhing nude on the floor of the universe, drunkenly swaying through parties that end in uncontrollable sobs, windows down screaming at pedestrians on the way to some coked out endeavor in a seedy club with many, many men. It's crazy the word salad shit that comes out of my fingers sometimes.

CRAZY. 


Also, Osama bin Laden was fucking killed and his body spirited away to locations unknown by a team of hard core, maniacal killers today.

Tell Your Friends Peace

Check out this comic from Toothpaste for Dinner.

So, I went out last night. It was terrible. Smoking in bars is still allowed in the stupid Mat-Su Valley, home of a bunch of stupid motherfucking rednecks. Yesterday, I saw a mud-coated truck that had the words "No bama" and "Vote McCain or die" spray painted on the tailgate and door. Of course, the truck was piloted by some mouth-breathing, fuck-tard, white kid who definitely had no idea about how government even works, much less an informed opinion about theories of governance. What a fucking douche. And to think we live in a society that actually permits this idiot a voice in how business is conducted. Un-fucking-believable.

Anyway, I went out and was promptly reminded of why I like drinking alone, in my house, the fuck away from a bunch of leathered-up Harley riders, bitches singing karaoke, and motherfuckers dressing like they just got off the cattle drive. Felicia and I were talking about how there is a vast, untapped research potential for observing human mating behavior that exists in bars all across the country. I mean, I could perpetually produce articles detailing how stupidly people behave if I could just have some audio/video feed from local bars.

Yeah, I did the whole bar, drink, talk with strangers (about sports of all things), went somewhere else, met up with some peeps, hugged a bunch of people, and yes, danced. I fucking danced, for fuck's sake. Here I am parading around like I'm some kind of adult, but stick me in the right situation and I'll be goddammed if I don't end up doing some stupid shit like dancing. Fuck, I was wasted.

NEEEERRRRDDDDSSSS!!!!!

The only way that anyone should ever attempt to deal with mathematics: partially liquored up and reams of paper handy.

Another copy of my notes from class/the textbook.

Brushing up on some basic integrals in the back of my masterful textbook, Calculus: Early Transcendentals, Sixth Edition by James Stewart.

Yeah, I arranged my empties in a crude representation of a sine wave and then stood on a chair to take a picture. What of it?

Yeah, I can't stand nerds and find myself in the unlucky position of being one. I ameliorate my nerdness by drinking heavily and having sex regularly (ewwww) but it's still there. Look, I like things like this. I like mathematics. I like knowing what a bunch of meaningless (to the general public) symbols represent. It makes me feel good, like I'm better than everyone else, like I'm in the "know".

As far as understanding the whole thing, I like to keep it in perspective. If a celibate dude living in 17 century England can just "invent" calculus, then I feel fairly certain that a dude with two kids and a substance abuse problem can figure out what is going on, whilst under the influences of a hangover and kids screaming in his ear.

Word.

Feliz Cumpleanos

My wife turns 27 today. As we all know 27 is almost 30, which is almost dead, because if you haven't made whatever "it" is by 30, then you never will.

Seriously though, Felicia is pretty great and I would advise everyone to go out and get one.