Ben and George Discuss Censorship

Here's two of our national treasures that we haven't seen in a while. Let's have a look at what's chapping the mythical asses of our founding fathers today.

3/2: Electric Bugaloo

You just know that armorer is going to be a dick and make them clean their rifles like, a bajillion times.

That little chaplain's assistant chick is pretty bangin' though. 

 Damn, dude, that's harsh.

There were some concerns that it could have been.

It only takes the merest of encouragement to get me to crank out more of these things. If you enjoy it, I'm glad. If not, well, that's just like, your opinion, man.

Oh Go and Fuck Yourself

Here are some comics that I made that show our fellow Devil Dogs in the 3/2 urinating on the corpses of Taliban fighters. These may make people angry, but that is okay. If you're angry it's the first step to engagement, so there's that. Personally, I have no feeling one way or the other about the 'incident' and have full faith and confidence in the Big Green Weenie's fidelity and ability to bone the everloving shit out of these Leathernecks. Oh well, such is life.

 You and all your fancy goddamn words and learnin' and lookin' down on your bros.

 No one wants to be the guy that falls out and gets picked up by the Humvee in the rear and given the silver bullet.

I never can pass up a good pun.

Fuck All of This

Here is a comic that I made. It features our old favorite, UBL, a character I have not done in a while and so he was feeling neglected and I heard him weeping not so silently in his folder on my C drive. I couldn't help but be moved. 

Anyway, Christmas time is upon us and I must now turn my fevered attention to the construction of the yearly Toche Christmas letter. 

WANTCHU TO MAKE ME FEEL

So, yeah. Or should I say, "YEARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH". Still haven't gotten over that Howard Dean moment. Here is the continuation of the Duke and Rusty saga. 'Bout to post mad grabbage on this here blog, son. 

Apparently some peeps from Russia or Burkina Faso like to check this out. 

Cool Story Co. starts here. 

If We Were All Lyrical Genii We'd All Be Dead By Now

I watched Richard Rodriguez give two talks today. 

I want to kill living beings because of it. 

The injustice of my existence begs annihilation. 

Goddammit, Team Sleep! You're shit isn't helping!

Story starts.

Mournful-ass Ululations of a Million Idiot Savants

The title doesn't have a goddamn thing to do with anything. The train wreck story that no one gets (I know this because Felicia dutifully reads this shit and is stupefied by it and tells me so) is an embryonic turd here. So, yeah, there it is. Also, I'm in the process of retooling the other website so as to be more user friendly and less annoying to try to navigate through. Now, I've got to go get some shit for the yard sale tomorrow. More Pabst induced blogging of the process and the previous camping trip may follow. Stay tuned, motherfuckers!
 

State of the State of the State of the STATE

Not much new in the news, and goddamn thanks for it. Floods, destruction, ape-behavior, all sorts of terrible things happened this past week. Awful shit. Rapes all over the planet. Slavery. Tuberculosis. Crabs. Debt. Magic financial systems that fuck you over until you're dead. Straight up vanilla schizophrenia. Insomnia. Pollution. Unemployment at levels that would have former administrations shitting themselves.

God has engineered a truly dismal system to ensure that we love Him.

Sometimes, shit is so important that you need to get your ass kicked by a professional to understand just how un-important your shit is. The story starts here.

I Wish There Were Such Kiosks to Fill My Gullet with Liquor

Today we honor those who were foolish enough to believe that the rhythm method is an effective form of birth control. Also, too, the Palin genome is awful and makes me want to huff gasoline in order to kill the part of my brain that is offended by their stupidity. The best/worst part about that is just a collection of all the terrible people involved in that entire fiasco: agent, editor, publishing house, audience. I'm pretty sure God is sending me the message that I should kill myself when He allows these types of things to happen.

Story for this horrible convoluted comic starts here.

I Am So Upset There Is a Thing Now That Is Called Gawker

Babbling and incoherent story begins here. Don't worry, when I'm done, I'll post a synopsis of what happened in it if you lost your way or didn't understand these awful scribblings from the get go. I'm sorry, I mean "git go". (Fuck year, logical punctuation.)

In any event (and farther away from the point of this post but something I've been thinking on lately) I'm not one of those idiots who pine for a day that never existed in which the Privacy of the American Individual was held sacrosanct. I also don't keep with the notion that our country's establishers were these inhuman titans of dignity and respect who would never have passed the Patriot Act because They Loved This Country so damn much.

Fuck that. If old G. Wash, could have wiretapped phones and snatched library lists, you can bet your ass that he would have. 

Neil Gaiman, in The Form of an Anthropomorphized Cat, Dispenses Wisdom

Hello, this is the continuation of the story. I was feeling pretty shitty about the ol' graphic novel but then I saw this pretty awesome You Tube video in which, a cartoon Neil Gaiman explains that it's perfectly okay to create something that no one understands because, hey, you're the artist, leave the interpretation to the critics. So suck on it, and yeah, I take direction from PBS cartoons. What of it?

 

'Bout to Get Some 40s and Pack This Shit Up

Shut the fuck up and enjoy the continuation of the story arc. Seriously, though, I don't know if anyone is reading this, and I kind of don't care. I'm putting it on the internet for posterity, goddammit. 

Also, I added ads so that maybe all those bots will outclick through them and send me several dollars a month. Got to get paid, son. 

Edit: Also, huge bonertime alert, I forgot one of the pages that should have been uploaded this morning. I've fixed it here.

Ratko Mladic IS Probably a Likable Enough Guy

Here's some panels about an infamous person. Apparently, it's wrong to line up people and shoot them so that they fall into mass, unmarked graves, but totally acceptable to cause the death/dismemberment of a similar amount of people in order to free them from tyranny. 

There's a Henry Rollins book where he describes L.A. as the land of 1000 rapes and I'm pretty sure that's accurate, but I also think that it can be scaled up to the globe. We're an awful species, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Don't Ever Pray for Patience

Here is the continuation of the comics that I started oh so long ago here. I have enjoyed doing this comic and maybe having people other than Slovenian botnets look at it. Maybe you've had a chuckle, or identified with it, or hate it but can't stop following those goddamn facebook links that I put up all the goddamn time, or just feel sorry for some guy who ain't ever gonna get his 'cause the Lord God has got a wicked sense of humor and just can't let a motherfucker live already. I'm just kidding. The Lord is pretty funny sometimes. Real ironic, if you're into that sort of thing.
 

God as a Bro as a Champ

I like to imagine the Almighty as a solid bro, prankster, all around good ole boy. It just seems to make more sense when you look at the cosmos.

Anyway, I've started re-reading the Bible and will probably do more of these type comics, with God laughing at us in our hopeless endeavor. I imagine he got a heavens shaking laugh out of this most recent apocalyptic prophesy. So, here's the panels. Enjoy. 

Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer Is Cheap and Works the Same as Any Other

I changed the layout a little and hope you all like it. I thought it was easier to read and all that. Prolly change it soon. Here's a comic! The arc starts here and continues through the blogzorz.

Also, have I said that my wife is dope? She is. Totally.

Osama bin Laden and the Humanization of The Other

Here are some images of Osama bin Laden with funny captions added. I like to think about him in a real way, not with a Boogieman aura, but as a live human being. Kind of like the way Kurtz in Apocalypse Now reflects on the humanity of the soldiers who hacked off the inoculated arms of the village children. I mean, he did all the things we do: shit, pissed, fucked, jizzed, coughed, sneezed, laughed at some unexpected irony, loved his wives, likely saw beauty in a certain sun cresting a mountain range, savored the defeat of his enemies, and experienced the terror of his own mortality late nights when he couldn't sleep. 

He was real and I think we do a disservice to all of us when we demonize him as "evil" or some childish notion like that.