Gavin's Birthday

This is a roll call of all the shit that I made for Gavin's third birthday. We went with a Mexican theme and so made a bunch of shit that you might find at Taco Bell.

I made some bomb-ass five-layer dip. It totally fucking rocked.

Some quesadillas for the chillens.

This is like the only thing that Felicia did the entire day. She made some goddamn out of the box cupcakes.

I, however, totally rule. I created a model (obviously not to scale) of a Mayan pyramid. I've got some a watermelon pyramid topped by mango (the place where prisoners were sacrificed) surrounded by cantaloupe jungle floor with banana trees with mango leaves. The strawberries were on sale so they got into the picture as well.

An obligatory picture of children with cake on their faces at birthday parties.

Whoo! A goddamn big wheel!

This is a totally cool picture of Gavin on his new bike. We rule as parents.

The sacrificial lamb.

These next couple of pictures are for all you assholes who have some kind of faith in the human condition. Humans are inherently evil. They aren't good and anyone who believes as much can look at these following pictures.

Children, with only the least amount of prodding, will take weapons, rip down, and pummel the shit out of a cute animal analog while said animal is on the ground and not resisting. You'll notice how some children keep beating the animal and others are ripping at the animal's flesh, all for the reward of sweet, sweet candy. As a species, we are fucking evil. You can see it in our kids, everyday actions, and politics. We have no fucking better angels, so fuck all that shit. Let's go out and embrace our atavistic nature.

Candy is good, especially when ripped from the entrails of an animal.

When the hell is it going to be my goddamn birthday?